1) So why on earth am I doing this?

cropped-20170710_185720.jpgI’m writing this first blog just 12 days after my wife, Nicola, died aged 35. It was cancer that did it, but there will be more on that in the next blog.

The reasons behind me opting to do this are numerous. Firstly, I’m a journalist by trade, so splurging out lots of words in an attempt to tell a story comes rather naturally.

Secondly, it’ll probably be something of a cathartic exercise. Talking to people is one thing, but being able to sit down and put ‘pen to paper’ on something that has had a profound affect on you is quite another and is probably that bit more effective when it comes to both successfully communicating your feelings and also ensuring your words are processed as desired by those reading them.

I also want this to help people. That might refer to people in my own circle of family and friends who will initially read it out of sympathy and then realise it’s actually not that bad after all, or it could refer to those who discover it by accident and find it helps them with a similar situation they might be dealing with.

It’s pretty specific. I’m a 38-year-old man who has just been tasked with the job of bringing up my beautiful three-year-old daughter, Grace, whilst trying to maintain her mummy’s influence despite her not being around anymore. Quite how that’s going to go, I have no idea, but at least doing this blog from the off means people can experience that journey with me if they so desire. I don’t know how long I’ll blog for, perhaps until people stop reading or if I feel like neither I or anyone else is getting much benefit from it for whatever reason.

Either way, whilst it’s true the situation I now find myself in is far from unique and there will be others who have been through very similar scenarios, this is about us and if people like what this blog will provide then that’ll do for me.

As I write this, I’m in something of a haze given how recently Nicola passed away, and that in itself will probably provide the background for a future blog. Nevertheless, having spent the last few days talking, reminiscing, laughing and crying about the wonderful woman who has just left us, I feel the clarity of my feelings can only improve by refusing to bottle them up.

So, stay tuned as I attempt to prove it.

9 thoughts on “1) So why on earth am I doing this?”

  1. Love it to bits mate. Very positive thing to do and very positive approach to what lies ahead. Nicola, I’m sure, will look down and be proud of you.


  2. I for one will follow your blog.

    Keep talking, laughing, smiling, crying, hugging. She is right behind you every step of the way. Remember she didn’t want to go but had no choice. Take comfort in your beautiful daughter as she will get you through. Xx


  3. Such a great act of benevolence Mark, despite the heartbreak of losing someone so special, the mere fact you choose to try and help others in similar situations comes as no surprise to me. Mr Duffy, you are by no measure, a man who your daughter and Nicola had every reason to be proud to call Husband and Father.

    Take care my friend and I look forward to you next post.

    Regards Daryl (Aka Dudsey).


  4. What a really good start to your blog which I think is such a good idea and which I think will help you and Grace so much and all of us grieving for Nicola. It is also great that you are putting your amazing writing skills to beneficial use and to help others who may also be going through the same situation, which sadly is likely to be the case. A great start – keep going and I will keep reading.


  5. That’s a startlingly good piece, with a perfect pitch, and a tribute to you all. It is sure to help others facing such disasters.


  6. You are pretty unique Mark, well done for talking through this, so many people can’t and it is sure to be heartbreaking at times but also a tribute to Nicola and hopefully cathartic as you say. Love Mary


  7. Will ring each and everyone that you write. It does help to put your thoughts down on paper. You will do a great job with Grace.xxxx


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